Mami, I am afraid of you when you are training
Kenzo...My daughter
who was 9 years old says this to me in a very anxious way. I stopped what I did for a second and then my
desperation kick in again. The year is
2004 and my new dog that I had re homed for a couple of month ago was totally
crazy. He didn't want to listen to me; he was totally blocked and was jumping
and pulling in the lead. He was panting and yelling and his eyes were wide open
and staring to everything and nothing. We were in the middle of the forest and
my whole body was so angry at this dog that I could not recognize myself. I am
not a person that wants to have conflicts but I had it with my dog everyday…
I did
receive so many tips from people around me and I tried desperately to listen to
them and do what they sad. I thought that everybody knows more than me about
dogs and I was a very insecure dog owner. I did go to
dog training courses and I had read every book that is on the market (I
thought) however my bookshelf was very full of books about how to succeed with
a dog. I read books that were especially about the breed Border collie because
people had told me that when you have a border collie you need to do that and
that etc… it was so much about the breed so I didn't see that it was a dog in
the first place.
I did read
everywhere that a dog needs to be train and that the dogs need a lot of brain exercise.
We did train Kenzo every day and as soon as it was possible I let him work with
his brain. We were so afraid of letting him relax because we had got the information
that then he will be a problem dog – but
he was already “so called” problem dog so what do we need to do now. Yes of
course, we have not train him enough, we need to train him more and let him
have more brain exercise.
I thought
that if he is tired he will not run away, he will not attack our guest that is
visiting us. He will not pull in the lead; he will not have separation anxiety
when I leave him. He will not follow me everywhere at home etc. IF he just is
train enough he will be satisfied and be a great dog. But he still did all this but a little more
stressed because his was so tired. Non stop in duty!
I felt like a very worthless dog owner… what
do I do wrong?
What we didn't understand was that we gave him everyday wrong signals. We had told him (from his way
of see it.) that he was the one to take care of his pack and our lovely dog was
very confused and stressed.
He had got the job as a leader in our pack and he tried desperately to do what he knows in his dog mind was necessary. We felt desperate but I understand now that he was more desperate than us. And when he did what he thought was right he got negative response from us. He was in a very difficult situation.
He had got the job as a leader in our pack and he tried desperately to do what he knows in his dog mind was necessary. We felt desperate but I understand now that he was more desperate than us. And when he did what he thought was right he got negative response from us. He was in a very difficult situation.
He came to us as an 11 month young dog and we wanted to give him the best life and did it in a human way. From day 1 we mixed human love with human anger. He was already stressed when he came to us and this young dog could not understand why he has a new pack and probably also wondering where the old pack is… why he is not with them?
Poor little
Kenzo, who lived in a world that is created by us human, how can we expect that he would understand how
to do things when we didn't use a language that he understand.
Luckily I got a book in my hands… Jan Fennell's book The Dog Listener. I read it and started to understand that this book has something important to tell me. The most important thing was that I started so see my dog from his perspective. And I could see that Kenzo who use to be a very nervous dog started to relax when I gave him right signals. It is not that he changes over a night – it was a process and for every day I could see that life went better and better with him. Some days there was one or two steps back – and there was always a reason and that is also a part of life. We as humans don’t have perfect day’s everyday – that is the same with your dog. The important thing is that you understand your dog – and continue to give the right signals.
It is not
what the dog does – it is what YOU do when your dog do it that matters.
I was
desperate with my dog and now I am so inspired – I am very grateful that I read
the book The dog listener that have give me so much harmony in my dog ownership
and that I also today can give other dog owners the same thing, knowledge of
the dogs language.
Today 2012
it is many years ago that I had conflicts with my Kenzo…we just have great days
together and he is a very valuable pack member in my pack. My love for this dog is so deep and I have
hard to think that he will not be with me whole my life, I do know that our
dogs have shorter life’s than we and I will give him the best life every day as
long as he is with me. . There was a
time when I almost hated him, I did not want to have him, he was to difficult
for me. That was many years ago – and my daughter says: Mami, I am afraid of YOU when you are
training Kenzo … Today she say: - What would life be without our lovely Kenzo!
I did go from
desperation to inspiration with Jan Fennell's method Amichien Bonding. I was not worthless, I did just not know how to
do…
A lot of
inspiration to you all dog owners out there…
Mervi
Highly
recommended dog Listener by Jan Fennell
Mervi with her pack
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